I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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