Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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