The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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