i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the day after is always just damage control
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
