HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
