you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
