Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
