At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
