Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
