Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
