he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
