Dual....:-)
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
