you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
