I'm sorry my penis didn't work
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
