Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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