How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
