i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
