actually, I'm a sock model
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
