I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
