I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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