i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
