I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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