My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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