Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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