i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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