your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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