so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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