ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
