i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
