well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Everything about him screamed your future.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
