i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
