Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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