Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
