so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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