Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
