sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He better not be in your backpack
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
