Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
