Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
