NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Another day, another engagement, another cat
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
