Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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