ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
