she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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