she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
