hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
