i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
