You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
