Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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