and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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