so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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