The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
