yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
