I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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